Have you ever had a moment that has stopped you in your tracks and made you question your entire life path?
We often associate this feeling with a midlife crisis but what if that term is outdated?
I myself had a wake-up call at 28. I had experienced a dark period of depression and suicide ideation that occurred from wrapping my self-worth around my career.
Just as I was recovering from that period, covid started and my mum was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. She died just 4 months later and my world turned upside down.
My mum was only 61 when she passed and the thought that ruminated in my mind was ‘If I only have 30 more years left of my life, I don’t want to spend it doing this!’
By this, I meant my job, working a 9-5 feeling overworked and under appreciated and chained to a desk with no autonomy over my life. I had a passion for helping people and felt a strong sense that I should be doing something ‘else’... Something ‘more’ with my life.
What is a midlife crisis?
This topic came up recently on a podcast I participated in, which focused on men going through midlife crises that result in big career changes.
When I hear the term midlife crisis, I think of the film American Beauty. Kevin Spacey plays an advertising executive who becomes disillusioned with his life as a suburban dad, quits his job and ends up infatuated with his daughter's best friend.
It’s easy to see from the unfulfilling job, the wife who doesn’t love him or give him any attention, and the monotony of his everyday life that he was heading for a breaking point.
The other typical thought that comes to mind on this topic is middle-aged men going out and buying a new and unexpected Porsche.
This leads me to question, why do I immediately think of men when I hear the term midlife crisis? A moment that makes you question your life's direction can strike at any age, not just mid-40s to 50s and they are not reserved just for men!
What causes these moments
Taking into account that these moments are for any age and gender, let's look at can trigger these moments of upheaval.
Overwork and Misalignment: Feeling constantly busy but unfulfilled can be a recipe for low mode and frustration.
Burnout and Poor Wellbeing: When you neglect your own well-being, it can eventually lead to a crash.
Lack of Clarity and Purpose: Feeling lost and unsure of your goals can be incredibly disorienting.
Life-Changing Events: Loss of a loved one, illness, or other major life events like losing a job can force us to re-evaluate our priorities.
Living by Other People's Beliefs: Ignoring your own desires to follow someone else's path can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction.
A lack of self-worth - Wrapping your self-worth around your career and losing, changing jobs or one not turning out as you hoped.
The Impact of Social Media and Covid: Constant comparison on social media and the introspection prompted by the pandemic have both seen an increase in people questioning their life path.
Any one of these factors is enough to spark a moment of reflection and need for redirection.
Signs you might be having one…
How can you recognise a redirection moment in your own life or someone you know?
There are many signs, some are internal like a change in your thoughts and feelings and others are external and can be seen by others.
Disengagement from work, family, or social life - Becoming more introverted and not wanting to engage and socialize as you normally would. The latest Gallup survey shows that only 23% of the global workforce is currently engaged at work
Loss of interest in your well-being - Losing interest in exercise, eating well and even letting your personal hygiene slip.
Feeling confused and lost - Waking up each day, going through the motions with no direction and having mind fog.
Doom Scrolling - Intentionally fill the days with social media to distract you from what you need to do. statista.com reported the average social media usage in 2024 is 2hrs and 38 minutes a day but we all know someone who uses it more.
Fear, anxiety, or sleeplessness - A constant feeling that something is ‘wrong’ which keeps you awake at night, tossing and turning questioning what you are doing in life.
The solution
There's no one-size-fits-all solution and why would there be? We are all so unique.
It’s also easy to think that feeling unhappy is down to your career because it feels like the biggest sucker of time. Despite how the traditional work week is structured, if you work a 35 hour week and sleep around 49 hours, it's how you spend those remaining 84 hours that can make the biggest difference.
Some people will find solace and fulfilment in a career change, while others may choose to pursue a passion project.
The key to navigating a moment of redirection is to slow down and take stock:
What really brings you joy?
What are you truly passionate about?
What values are you not currently living by?
What are you not getting enough of in your life?
Embracing introspection and starting a journey of self-discovery can be as long or as short as you want it to be but let me warn you.. It’s quite addictive.
The longer you spend really getting to know yourself, what you want out of life and what you can achieve, the happier you become.
Summary
Moments of redirection are normal - They don’t have to be so dramatic that they become a crisis!
These moments don’t discriminate - They can happen at any age, to anyone and multiple times in one lifetime. We are complex beings living in an ever-changing world… wouldn’t it be strange if they didn’t happen?
Ask for help! - Did you know there are people out there who feel it’s their life's purpose to help people in these moments and they dedicate themselves and their careers to it and I am one of them. No one needs to navigate life alone, especially in these tricky moments so reach out, ask for a helping hand.